I am a nerd. I like to sleep. As a result, I have dreams. Nerd dreams. And here is where I will log them. I think Freudian psychology is silly, though, so I don't read too much into them. You're welcome to if you want, but don't judge me too hard if you do.

I just met you, and this is crazy…

I was at a bar last night and ran into an acquaintance who I hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk to much until that night. So of course, it makes sense that I dreamed about her that same night…

The premise was that we were attending a wedding-type ceremony for one of her relatives (an older one - I think an aunt, but it wasn’t clear from what I remember). However, the ceremony was a bit… odd. It was set up sort of like a gameshow where the couples invited to the wedding would all go up and sit as pairs behind tables set up in a tiered fashion on the stage (almost like bleachers with tables in front). This acquaintance and myself were announced during the ceremony as one of the couples to walk up on stage. It was then that we realized we were horribly under-dressed for the event. Instead of the standard tuxedo/dress combo, we were in long-sleeved blue-and-green-striped shirts and jeans (or an equivalent). I decided that we should just go up on stage anyway and shout out the joys of our youthful defiance or something like that. So we did.

After the ceremony, there was a band setting up to play. It ended up being my old high school concert band and I ran into some random people that I remembered knowing in the dream, but whose faces/names I can’t recall. All in all, it was a fairly pleasant experience. And now I awkwardly feel like I know this acquaintance better than I actually know her.

I wonder if this happens to other people and that’s why sometimes people claim to know me better than I know them…?

Jon Stewart, please. Control yourself.

Uh… so I actually don’t remember much about the context of this dream, but for whatever reason there was a point at which Jon Stewart was in my bed. Right as I was going to sleep. It was weird. I went through a, “does his wife know he’s here?” moment before hearing him flirt with me a bit. I told him I only wanted to cuddle, that I didn’t actually want anything to do with his downstairs. He seemed a bit upset.

Sorry, Jon. It’s not you I love. It’s your show.

As a musician and a dreamer, this pleases me to no end. Especially the piano one. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to sound like fish with a piano, but I have, and it is HARD. Saint-Saens, eat your heart out.

(All credit to Cyril Rolando, http://aquasixio.deviantart.com/

(Source: unknowneditors, via undeadfgt)

What in the hell…

I just had a dream wherein a half-spider-half-man-thing just distended the contents of his entire gooey spidery abdomen… thing all over a crowded public square in an effort to produce offspring. Dumbledore was there. He was all “I see now why he was in such a hurry to produce offspring.” Everyone was sad, ‘cause this guy couldn’t find any spider-ass babies. I REPEAT: EVERYONE WAS SAD BECAUSE HE COULD NOT FIND BABIES. There was gooey green stuff everywhere. The spidery guy was still alive somehow, but he looked kinda like a mess. To those of you interested, I think he was in stereotypical private-eye gear, i.e. a trenchcoat, a dapper hat, etc. etc. He was a nice enough guy, and I think everyone liked him for the most part. He may have been an X-man (an X-men? Never been clear on the singular usage of that).

So this spider-guy keeps looking for kids, and there are some stoned/drunk hippies around that are like, “Dude, I think I saw some babies over there, but…” So he goes and finds a spot and hears about how some ne’er-do-wells are kidnapping people with a mysterious poison. He gets suspicious and asks around only to run into a guy that stabs spider-man with a mysterious ring! A ring with like, a spider-fang or something in it! So the guy is clearly pleased and thinking, “Aw, hells-yeah, gonna steal all the money from this dapper spidery bloke,” But NO, spider-dude just grabs the guy’s arm and says something epic and then BAM: it cuts to some weird poster for a movie coming out soon about a spider-guy with nothing to lose who is looking for his grody-ass, guts-covered spider kid. What. The. Fuck. I guess this explains why I spent more-or-less the whole part of the dream at an arcade.

Happy Halloween?

Dreamt 4 Dead

This was the best dream I’ve had since I don’t even know when. It was good enough that I ended up sleeping in for something stupid like 4 hours because I wanted to have more of this dream.

The basic jist of this dream was that it was zombie survival. And it started off in the creepy way - I was in some quasi-real area that I knew in the dream but didn’t look like anything I knew outside of the dream. The two major hubs involved were my old family church, a giant concrete tomb-like structure which was revamped with catacombs and sewers for the sake of the dream, as well as a sort of abandoned house that was standard issue for suburbia an woefully equipped with many large, glass-paneled doors.

I think the zombies themselves may have shown up in the church first. It was during mass that my family and I noticed something strange going on. Soon, the priest (who looked like the fat friar from Robin Hood more than any priest that I remember) was ushering myself and my sister(?) to a secret passage at the back of the chapel that eventually led us to a series of underground tunnels. We eventually emerged from these tunnels and were outside of the church. The scene was a bit chaotic. Zombies. Screaming people. Police. Shooting. The usual for this sort of thing, I suppose, but it was a weird mix of terrifying and exhilarating. Well, regardless, it seemed like this was a bad place to stay, so we went back to the church to meet up with the survivors there and get a plan.

This must have been the point at which I got some weapons, ‘cause from this point on I was able to shoot any zombies that got in my way. But it wasn’t super-simple given that stealth was more valuable than knocking down a zombie or two. There were *a lot* of zombies by this point, and killing off a handful of them wasn’t even a drop in the bucket.

After some generic and not-so-memorable sneaking around from place to place while avoiding zombies, we managed to have another church gathering in the chapel. This time, however, a huge horde of zombies got into the church and things got pretty serious. My dad and I rushed down to the underground tunnels and this time emerged in the abandoned house that I mentioned earlier. The zombies around this area were sparse enough that we could take some time to secure the place - and oh boy, did it need securing. Half of the locks on the windows were busted, and the best way we could seal them off was with these little golden chains with hooks on the ends that we’d wrap around and hook together. At one point, I even triggered a bomb someone had set at the corner of one of these doors that managed to attract a few zombies and bust the upper-right corner of the door. But apart from freaking us out for a bit, we didn’t suffer too terribly from that event.

Somewhere during this preparation, Eddard and Arya Stark from the Game of Thrones series managed to pop up from either the catacombs or outside, I don’t remember which. We let them in ‘cause they seemed tired, and they sat in the corner with shields raised as we all looked outside at the approaching zombie horde. Miraculously, the chained-off doors managed to keep the zombies out, and while a few leaked in from some unknown area, we still managed to fight them off long enough for them to leave of their own accord. At one point I remember being trapped in the corner where the Starks had been and I was using their sword to poke zombies. It was gross. Zombie guts have more resistance than I expected, and it doesn’t feel like you’re actually hurting them by stabbing. Regardless, though, we were soon enough left alone in the house.

As usual, we took the secret tunnels back to church and had another chapel meeting. But this is where things started getting crazy-awesome. First, the area outside of the church had turned into a sort of palace, and because of the zombie hordes, this palace was now in the possession of some evil dude. So there were cyclops patrols outside, a bunch of zombies in the area, and other dangerous things. But we still made it into the church and had mass for any survivors who were interested. During mass, though, half of the congregation’s eyes started glowing red. I remember thinking wryly to myself: “What, do we have to deal with vampires, now, too?” But it turned out that they were something called “spell-spinners,” and they were intent on chasing me down. So I took the secret tunnels to an area outside of the church/palace/whatever and was running through the streets trying to fight off the spell-spinners. At this point, though, I had a device that let me create fiery explosions a few feet in front of me. Unfortunately, the spell-spinners could also create fire through some kind of crazy spell-spinning magic. So we duked it out for a bit with the fire before I realized that I was way outnumbered. However, at this point, something interesting was happening. The dream was becoming much less realistic and much more like a video game. So now I had the option of pausing the battle to quaff a few potions and try to reset my available skills. So because I had played as a wizard in Diablo III earlier this year, I had the option to use a teleport skill, which got me away from the spell-spinners and into the evil dude’s palace area. I evaded the evil dude’s forces, eventually by mounting a horse that I had been keeping… somewhere? I dunno. But I had a horse now, and it swam across the moat of the palace and got me back to town.

So now I was trotting through town in what had become a bustling bazaar. And at this point, I had become secure in the knowledge that I was playing some kind of MMO with my coworkers with the agreement that once you got zombified, you had to help clean up the workplace. So I was still unzombified and trotting haughtily through town. I was still wary of zombies, though, and when I heard one behind me, I readied my magical arrow and was preparing to shoot it, but the zombie’s friend implored me to stop. Apparently, she knew the zombified girl and knew that she didn’t want to hurt anyone. So I talked to this girl and her zombie friend for a while until eventually all of the love-and-peace discourse started unzombifying the zombified girl. So now I knew that the cure for zombie status was compassion. And with that knowledge in hand, I logged out of the game and woke up.

Hotel Action

I meant to type this out sooner, but I didn’t get a chance earlier. Hopefully I’ll remember enough details to make this interesting, ‘cause this was a crazy dream.

To start, I was a member of some kind of police force. We were investigating the activity of a notorious criminal who we had recently pinned down in a hotel-like structure. There were some things that happened before getting to the hotel, but I don’t really remember many of them. The hotel itself looked more like a large office building, complete with a fountain out front and a facade containing many large, glass windows. The basement was the headquarters of a Nintendo subsidiary (I think it may have been Nintendo Power Magazine, but all I know for sure was that it was Nintendo-related).

So we decided to storm this building. I was armed with a pistol and probably some riot police gear judging by what my fellow officers were wearing. We started in the basement, where they had a weird array of modems acting as laser sensors. I don’t know that they actually tripped any kinds of alarms or whatnot, but they were definitely designed to keep people away. I guess Nintendo isn’t as friendly as they seem… But anyway, nothing interesting was going on in the Nintendo offices, so we moved up some floors.

The next bits are kind of a blur (I think we found the criminal and chased her around a bit), but somehow I ended up on the top floor by myself. I saw an assault rifle on the floor (it may have been next to a dead soldier), and I picked it up just as I saw a strange person with another rifle across the hall from where I was (by the elevator). She looked like she was going to shoot, so I aimed and got her first. However, right after I shot her, a whole group of people dressed like her showed up (they looked like they were in oversized printed tees, the kind you see kids wear with leggings). They all had guns, and the leader just said to me something like “oh, you killed her. I guess that means now you have to take her place.” Not wanting to enter into this dubious group, I paused for a second before bolting for the elevator. I managed to make it in and pushed the button for the 1st floor so I could leave the building. I panicked, though, and decided that I should stop at the 2nd floor first to make them think that’s where I was getting off instead of the first floor. When I got to the first floor, I found the initial criminal that my team had been chasing down. She was there (I think standing over another officer’s corpse) and she looked like some kinda zombie-like creature. I shot her with the assault rifle until I ran out of ammo, and then started shooting her in the head with my pistol. She kept absorbing all of the bullets and just doing the whole reach-up-from-the-ground-like-a-slow-moving-zombie thing, so I just ran the hell away. I got out of the building, and the rest of my team was already there. We just walked away as though we had done a good day’s work. And then I woke up.

Poor Nintendo dudes… they’re gonna have a bunch of zombies to deal with in the morning, I guess.

Gotta Eat ‘Em All!

OH MAN. THAT WAS AWESOME. So I had this dream that involved being in a fancy hotel with some kind of daycare service. I think I may have been one of the kids being babysat, which I guess is kinda weird given that I am legally an adult, but whatever. It doesn’t matter. Because this play structure was built entirely of runts, The fruity candy that I loved as a kid. I was a bit weirded out by the fact that when I picked up some of the mini-bananas, they were actually real mini-bananas, but otherwise it was really just a WOAH LOOKIT ALL DAT CANDY kind of moment. Plus the people running the facility were really friendly. I think there was an inordinate amount of pokemon involved at one point, too, either in what the kids were playing or just in what kind of gut feeling I had during the whole experience. So it was a giant pokemon dream on a mountain of candy. I’d call that a success.

Rats…

The whole first part of this dream is a bit hazy, but I vaguely recall there being some kind of intergalactic court house (which was like a giant space stadium) in which either a friend of mine or I was being falsely accused of something. However, our legal team (a ragtag bunch, mind, mostly kids and the like) managed to pull off some sort of amazing comeback and we proved our innocence in the matter. And then the stadium was used for this big celebratory parade. And I think it was Christmas, too. So I got a present of something like 7 interlocking mp3 players. They were just little squares (kinda like those little square iPods) with little adapters sticking out of them that could plug into sockets in the other mp3 players. It was… awesome?

BUT THEN. Then things got bad. Turns out there was a pack of mice in my room that had been known to steal my stuff. So I had my nice pile of mp3 players on my bed, all neatly organized and interconnected, and then I turned around and BAM! Gone. And this is on Christmas, mind you, so I am in NO mood. So I start trying to hunt the mice down. Instead, I end up seeing this gigantic rat. It’s huge. And I have no idea what to do. So I run to my mom for help. Somewhere along the way, we end up taking a trip to a neighboring town/village to see if the mice are there. It’s a dusty sort of place, something out of an old western except also perpetually at dusk. Well, there are no mice there either way, and it slowly dawns on me that the rats probably took the mp3 players. And then my mom points out what we’re all thinking: “The rats probably ate your mp3 players. Sorry kiddo.”

Maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t bother buying a new mp3 player anytime soon…

Remembering Past Dreams through Dreams

This one was kind of cool. I had a dream that I recall being largely about the advantages of a pull-switch fire alarm system (it was this kind of seminar on the different kinds of smoke/flame/whatever detectors and why those ones from high schools are the most efficient). There were also some bits about family and family friends convening outside of what I think was my old high school. But I also remember thinking about The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword and how I hadn’t beaten it. And then I started thinking about the first dungeon in the game. The kicker is that I started to recall sections of the dungeon that weren’t actually in the game. And that’s when I realized that I had had a Zelda-styled dream some time in the past in which I was exploring a dungeon just like the one I had been recalling in my dream. The only problem is that I don’t think I would have remembered that other dream if the aesthetic of my most recent dream’s dungeon didn’t match it so well. And then my memory of my older dream made me remember an even OLDER dream, also involving some Legend of Zelda shenanigans.

In conclusion: I have had some pretty awesome Legend of Zelda dreams. I’ll write down some keywords so that maybe I can remember them for a later post: Tiger soldiers on moon pillar; zombie infested flooded main field; really freaky zombie tunnel in northern regions; moblin guards in forest area (overhead view); temple of white marble and concrete with some kind of sewer-type system; beach with a dungeon; and then the memory-trigger when thinking about the forest dungeon from Skyward Sword.

Other Peoples’ Dreams

Yeah, sometimes I get dream envy, either because other people have awesome dreams or because I don’t remember my own awesome dreams. I remember this one guy in high school who had some epic Star Wars dream with robots battling Beast Boy from Teen Titans or something…

This time, though, it was my roommates. I’ve been away on interviews for graduate school, but the programs my roommates applied to don’t do interviews before making offers. So they’re still waiting to hear back from places and I’m flying around getting wined and dined. As it turns out, this means that I have normal, boring dreams and they both dream about either getting rejection letters or not getting acceptance letters (a subtle difference for what is effectively the same outcome). The best part is that they had these dreams on the same night. MAYBE THERE IS A MAGIC HERE THAT WE CAN HARNESS FOR THE GREATER DREAMING GOOD. Or for some kind of dreaming weapon. All other conference goers shall dream of presenting in their underwear while I shall dream only of presenting to people who are themselves in their underwear!